Friday, 13 September 2013

Blue Times

Getting Married

Having a Baby

Buying a House

The top three most stressful things you can do apparently. Foolishly maybe me and J have done all 3 in 13 months. It has been incredible and I feel so blessed to be in the position to do it all but it is now taking its toll. 

I don't handle change well and I have done a lot of changing recently.

Whether PND or stress or exhaustion the blue times are back. The lack of energy or motivation the lose of appetite the bad sleep (outside of a hungry baby). It all just means that I continue to live in chaos of packing and mess, a chaos which is a contriubting factor to the blue times. A viscious circle. 

My brain can't cope with the disorganisation and I have had to cancel and rearrange with friends far too often for my liking. My usual planning and diary filled with fun events is full of tipex as the move comes closer then further away so plans are changed. I HATE changing plans. It makes me feel ill and I get stupidly upset.

We are off to the Doctor this afternoon my superstar husband is coming with and I have an amazing baby girl. I am lucky and so grateful for all I have but I need to look after me to. I want to be laughing with L not crying while she does.


  1. Belle du Brighton

    as I said on instagram, these times won't last forever,and before you know it you will be settled and a lot happier! We got married last november, had the baby in June and moved in July. I actually feel a sense of calm now, and also pretty impressed with myself for doing it all, and you'll feel like that sooner than you think, i'm sure! Then you can just relax and enjoy time with your gorgeous little girly!

    I deleted this comment by mistake!

    Thank you so much for commenting and understanding. Glad to hear you feel more settled now and I hope I will feel the same soon.


  2. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate! The best advice I got when Joel was that small was that you don't have to enjoy everyday, and some days will drag but be sure that the months will fly in! I can relate to your love of organisation and order, without it I become nearly panicky and I cannot relax and enjoy myself. We are in the process of house hunting now and Joel is 8 months, that is stressful enough but I cannot imagine doing that when Joel was so young. It took all my energy at that stage to just keep my head above water.
    I experienced some very dark days in the first months, and I wrote about it in my first blog.
    But I was only able to do that with the benefit of distance, when Joel was 6 months. You are brave to recognise and share your feelings as your are experiencing them.
    The lack of energy is the killer, I remember thinking about taking Joel for walks and then abandoning the idea because the thought of setting up the pram was just beyond what I could cope with or had the energy for! I always felt better when I got out and about, I was just getting out the door that was the hardest step!
    I hope your trip to the doctor is the start on the road to positivity! Keep sharing, and you will realise you are not the only one!x

  3. Thank you so much. Your words mean a great deal to me. It is good to know so many other people are ready to share their experiences. I am finding my blog a great way to try and organise my thoughts and feelings. The Drs was a positive step and again we have a plan which I always finds helps.

    Good luck with your house move and search and thanks again. Xxx